Ages ago a Head of Internet (or something like that) from a big high street retail brand asked me why a website looked smaller on my computer than it did on his.
"Well, my screen resolution is different" I answered. Obviously. There was a small silence. "Explain to me about screen resolution again..."
This wasn't the first time this had happened. Someone very high up in an organisation and in charge of an internet didn't know what srceen res was. Now, I'm not being facetious you can't expect everyone to know everything. But I thought it might be a nice idea to get everyone to describe 'their internet' at the first meeting of any new client. Like they do at school when the new kids arrive mid term. Get everyone up to the same level. That way, everyone would know the 'level' of everyone else and there would be no clangers later on.
Here's My Internet, it's not finished so feel free to add your own in the comments.
1. My Internet doesn't use flash, evahhh. Unless it's a video, and then only for video.
2. My Internet prefers html text wherever possible.
3. My Internet lets me use my email address or my usual username as a username. It doesn't give me one or make me create a new one.
4. My Internet lets me use a password entirely of my own choosing. It doesn't make me add numbers or Capitals wH3re I don't want them.
5. My Internet values simplicity and clarity over almost everything else.
6. My Internet prefers tools that I'm familiar with like Flickr, YouTube, iTunes, Google etc. It doesn't reinvent convention for the sake of it.
7. My Internet has a screen resolution of 1024x768. Today. As I write this. That will change sooner than you think.
8. My Internet has absolute urls for everything.
9. My Internet may not have exactly the same colours as My Printed Matter.
10. If My Internet was forced to choose between speed and visual lushness, speed would win easily.
11. My Internet has no back, forward or print buttons. That's what My Browser is for.
12. My Internet has contact details clearly accessible right from the word go.
13. My Internet will not work for everyone, everywhere, always, at the same time, all the time. It will especially not work for CEO's Aunties.